Cooking for Dummies

***EDIT: I left the house for about an hour and LEFT the gas oven on like marmy suggested. I turned down the heat and was glad to see that our house was still in one piece. You see in Cali, if your house catches on fire, then you can be damned sure your neighbors is lighting up with yours (they are situated that close..newer homes anyways). So, thanks to Marmy & my penchant for putting olive oil and seasonings on things like roasts & chicken, my turkey breast came out moist on the inside...crispy on the out. Maybe I CAN cook after all...or it was some weird fluke.***


As you know from my last post, I dubbed myself the "Lazy Cook". I even put my laziness to the test last night by having the aforementioned Microwaved Baked Potatoes. Everyone loved it. Do you remember how I also said that my cooking knowledge is pretty much non-existent? Let me give you a little example.

My girls are going to visit their dad during Thanksgiving break (they get the whole week here). I decided we'd have a turkey meal sometime before they leave on Sunday. I personally don't like to celebrate Thanksgiving, but I won't go into the details of why here. The kids like Thanksgiving. I think it's more just the idea of the big turkey dinner and such. Not sure if they're thankful...most of the time they're little ingrates! lol But I digress.

Stinky went shopping last week and got a free turkey breast for purchasing a certain $$$ amount of groceries. The size of it is perfect for our family of five. On Tuesday, I took the turkey out of the freezer all hell bent on cooking it YESTERDAY. Did I get to cook it yesterday? HELL NO! I really should read packaging way ahead of time. Defrost time: 2-4 days in the refrigerator. Yeah. So I started defrosting it on Tuesday thinking it would be ready to cook on Wednesday. Don't I feel über smart.

Tonight is the only night I can cook it. One problem: all the kids' activities get in the way. I'm thinking I can cook it this afternoon sometime between cheer practice and dropping of Showboat at football practice. Did I mention cooking time is THREE hours? Where the hell am I gonna be able to squeeze in three hours? I don't even know if you can cook a turkey part way, turn off your gas oven and go do your business, then restart it again. I think I need the Cooking for Dummies manual.