Fatherhood Friday #4

I was reading an article on AIM today in regards to Man Chores. These were chores that a percentage of women had said men should do. Men had said that buying presents, remembering dates like anniversaries, birthdays were Women Chores. So here's the list of man chores and my thoughts:

#17-Carving the turkey: The author says they'll own up to that one if only because they like to play with large knives. Guess they gotta find something large to play with. haha

#16-Sweeping the driveway: The author says that every year that you hear about some poor schmuck suffering cardiac arrest from shoveling the drive. Did you know that heart disease is one of the leading causes of death for women? You wouldn't want US to be the ones in cardiac arrest would you? So yeah, keep sweeping, bitches. lol

#15-Cleaning Windows: I'm the one who usually does them all on the inside. Outside the windows just stay dirty because we're both too lazy to clean them. Besides, I'm afraid of heights...ain't no mother bleeping way you're gonna get me to clean the 2nd story ones outside. nope. no way. no how.

#14-Fetching the morning paper: guys are dogs, they should fetch the paper. haha jk I have gotten the paper a time or two off the drive, but ohmygoodness, if that paper isn't somewhere where my husband can find it, or if it's out of order due to me looking at a certain section, I would not hear the end of it. I think it's better he continue on the tradition of fetching the paper, don't you?

#13-Programming the TIVO: we don't have TIVO, but we do have DVR. My husband can usually work that. He is, however, not a very techie type. Women who say guys should do this and can't do it themselves need help. Did I mention I program all TV, DVD, CD, you-name-it remotes in the house? Even my kids can figure out all the techie stuff before my husband does. It frustrates the hell out of him. LOL

#12-Washing up after dinner: we don't have anyone in the house who does this, including me. Everyone rinses their plate off, but we usually pile our dishes ceiling high before someone breaks down and puts them in the dishwasher. If we're lucky, someone will RUN the dishwasher right after loading it (which is usually me). I will say that my husband has been good about the dishes a few times this week and last. I didn't even ask him to do it. :)

#11-Removing sticky lids from jars: here's the thing...we know you guys like to feel manly. We ooh and aah over the strength you have to open that stubborn jar of peanut butter. In reality, some of us are weak. I'm woman enough to admit that I am not very strong. I have super weak muscles. My husband thought I was messing with him one time when I tried to arm wrestle him. I barely even moved his arm. He says, "You're kidding, right?" I said, "No. I told you I was weak." He had me try again, and again I could not move his arm. He finally believed me.

#10-Assembling furniture: Are they freaking kidding me? Don't these women know that men are instructional challenged? I do ask my husband to assemble furniture and such, but when he does it without instructions, it drives me crazy. He's been getting better. I can usually assemble furniture myself if it doesn't require more than two people. If it does, and I'm by myself, I usually find a way.

#9-Fixing broken toys: Say what? Just throw the damn thing in the trash. Nuff said. (If you have little ones, make sure they're not watching).

#8-Unclogging the toilet: If you clogged it, then you unclog it. Trust me, no one, not even your husband is gonna want to unclog your poop and wads of toilet tissue from the pot. Everyone in my house knows how to use a plunger. If it requires more than a plunger, then o.k., get your husband.

#7-Killing bugs/spiders in the house: If it's not that big, I can usually do the deed. If it's ginormous, has 20 million eyes, and hairy legs, oh hell no. Besides, wouldn't you like it if we clung onto you for dear life? It is a way to get closer. :) Now if a man is more afraid than me to of the bugs, then goodness MAN UP!

#6-Reading instructions for new gadgets-refer to assembling furniture. Honestly though, my husband likes to read through his instructions to figure everything out. I'm the opposite when it comes to using my gadgets. I like to just mess with it to see what everything does. Hmmm, wonder why that's different from assembling furniture?

#5-Yard work: I hate gardening, yard work, etc. I have allergies, I'm lazy, and I kill everything. I would rather have my husband do it. When we had our old house, he had someone come take care of the yard, because he had no time with his work schedule. This was how it had always been before I came along. I can't even take care of a bamboo plant. All it needs is water right? I have the blackest thumb. Luckily, living in a newer home in California, we don't exactly have a 'yard'. What little we have is low maintenance. BTW my mom used to do all the yard work when I was growing up. She liked it. I did not inherit that yard work loving gene.

#4-Washing the car, changing oil, and other car related stuff: Here's where I think women should know a little bit. Every woman should be able to at least wash the car (or pay for the car wash, check your oil and other fluids, pump own gas, put air in the tire, add water to the radiator if it's overheating and know what works what in your car. I can do all these things. Unfortunately, some of these I learned the hard way. But seriously, if there's no man in your life, what are you going to do? I'm usually the one who schedules the maintenance for the cars when needed. If my husband is home, we go together so we don't have to get a rental or whatever. I kind of wish I knew how to change a tire, but I'm weak, remember? I probably couldn't even twist the wrench to take off the tire. *sigh*

#3-Take out the trash: My husband usually does this though sometimes he complains. I'm thinking that if I do most of the work in the house, the trash will not kill him. I will say that I'm totally capable of taking it out myself, and I have.

#2-Checking strange noises in the night: O.K., this one I definitely would have husband do and think men should do. Why? Because if someone or something is out there, it will eat you first. haha just kidding. Seriously, you're stronger remember? My fear would get the best of me. :-/

#1-Getting things out of the attic: We don't have an attic, so no biggie here. It's creepy, dusty, and probably full of spider webs up there. Remember how we need you to kill the bugs/spiders? Did I mention it's usually dirty up there? Funny thing is my mother-in-law June Cleaver usually waits until husband or her husband's(Ward)sons come over to either fetch things or put them away in the attic. Sometimes she has Showboat go up there, because he's not 6'5" like my husband.

Check out the other Fatherhood Fridays at Dad Blogs.