FF 55 #45 and Fatherhood Friday #9

You have become someone I don’t know. We were friends before all this. Why can’t you love yourself for who you are? It’s so sad that this is the way things still are; me not conforming, and you, trying to fit in. There’s one thing you should know, in the adult world, popularity doesn’t count.


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It's amazing to me that we still have cliques in school. Mini-Me had a friend on the cheer squad with her who was always nice to her, but lately, she's joined forces with Mini-Me's ex frenemy. She is now rude to mini-me telling her that she's ugly, a phone she wants is ugly, etc. I'm sure the frenemy is behind all this. What's sad to me is that this girl was very nice, and now she has changed. I suppose she feels the need to fit in as a lot of kids do especially girls. Mini-Me on occasion feels the need to fit in, but when she tries, she hates it, because she'd rather be herself. Sometimes this causes a lot of stress for her, and sometimes people can me mean to her. It hurts her feelings, because she is the type who wants to be liked. She generally likes everyone, as I do, unless they are rude and mean to others.

When we were at a Whiz Kids competition last weekend (Mini-Me was in it), the 8th grade participants got the question, "If there is one thing you would change about your school, what is it and why?" One of the 8th grade girls who was from our school said that she would change the whole 'clique' thing. That often people miss out on making some great friends because of this. Later when they were having their lunch break, I told her she had a great answer. It was far better than the one which won the trophy 'more competition'. Makes you wonder what these judges, who are adults and part of the school system, place value on. But I digress.

I was sitting with the kids as they were eating lunch, everyone finished and went outside to play, except a couple girls who were still eating. The one with the great question and another one. We got to talking about this question. We also got to talking about personalities and trying to fit in. I told them that it's always better to be yourself than to try to be someone you're not. Those girls who are popular in the school now? Most of them won't be popular when they get to high school. High school is a different story. Sure there are still going to be some type of cliques, but for the most part, you can get through high school just being yourself with no problems. I told them the tale that I have told my own girls: I was a shy and quiet girl up until 9th grade. I didn't have a lot of friends. I wasn't popular in the least, and it seemed boys never liked me. But that summer before 9th grade, something changed. All of a sudden tons of boys were interested in me, I was making friends, and this once quiet girl showed a little of herself to others.

It's just so sad to see these girls placing value on their looks, who they are seen with, and who can get them popular and fast. As I've said to my girls and to those girls I talked with at lunch, in the real world, the adult world, whether you were popular or not in school doesn't matter. In the real world, we are all the same.


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